We don’t want our kids to just look like they’re obeying. We want them to learn the importance of obedience and then desire to obey.
These tips can help.
I think you will agree with me that there is an uprise of rebellion all around us.
As we continue to watch more and more children rebelling against rules and parental authority, we notice one big missing link: the “why” behind obedience. We see it in adults, as well.
Let’s take speeding for example. Do we stay under the speed limit out of willful submission? Or do we slam on the brakes when we see the cop car over the horizon? Do we obey the law because it’s right? Or just to stay out of trouble?
Does your child obey you just because he/she fears you?
Do you obey the principles of YHVH, just because you fear judgment?
Can we truly say we obey YHVH because of love?
We have a very warped view of obedience on our hands. I suspect that we are all guilty.
The truth is—>as a CHILD of YHVH, we should obey the law because Abba said so. We should obey Him because we love Him. We should also know that Obedience brings protection and victory. We should practice willful submission to the authority that He has placed over us. And unless the law requires us to go against YHVH’s law, we are to obey.
This is the level of importance of obedience we should want our kids to adopt. Teaching children to WANT to obey is far more important than teaching them to look like they are obeying, or obeying because of fear.
This does not include the first few years of a child’s life. This is indeed the season when Mom/Dad needs to work toward obedience without giving much explanation. But as your child enters the preschool years, it’s time to start helping them understand that there is much more to obedience than making Mom smile.
Help children understand the “WHY” behind obedience.
- Obedience shows that you believe.
1 Samuel 15:22 reminds us that “to obey is better than sacrifice.” What YHVH is trying to teach the Israelites here is that He wants them to obey FAR more than He wants them to pay for their sins through sacrifice. Take your children on a meaningful journey through the books of 1 and 2 Samuel, showing them that what matters more to YHVH than anything else is the attitude of their hearts.
To show obedience because of love and respect.
Meema Botha, [2026/02/07 09:03]
The same is true for us. Obedience is one way we show YHVH that we believe He will do what He said He will do. It’s one way we can outwardly show our inward disposition toward Abba. He does forgive us when we mess up, but He desires that we strive first to not mess up. That is how we demonstrate true belief.
Conversely, disobedience reveals the exact opposite. It uncovers our selfish desires to have things our own way rather than YHVH’s. When we disobey Him, it’s like telling Him that He isn’t enough or that we aren’t sure if He will come through for us.
- Obedience shows love.
Our choice to obey YHVH demonstrates our love for Him. Yahushua told His disciples that if they loved Him, they would obey His commands (John 14:15). It doesn’t get much clearer than that! A person who really loves YHVH will be constantly striving toward obedience, not constantly trying to figure out how close he/she can get to the line without going over. (Or calculating how he will be forgiven when he decides to stop sinning.)
It’s in our choice to obey that we demonstrate love for YHVH and what a privilege we have! ABBA has given so much for us that if we truly love Him, we won’t be able to desire to do anything we can do to show love toward Him. - Obedience is a witness to others.
Of course, it would be like a perfect and holy Elohim to build this part into the equation. When we obey Him, our life shines a light that is so attractive to others that they can’t help but see YHVH. Conversely, disobedience to YHVH, parents, and/or authority is a huge blow on our testimony to other people.
We should remind our kids of this often. Usually with the question, “What kind of witness are you being right now?” It’s important to us that they understand that every single choice they make is influential in the life of those around them.
When we disobey Elohim, parents, and/or authority, we are either influencing another believer in a negative way or showing a non-believer that we don’t take YHVH very seriously. Either one isn’t what we are aiming for as YHVH’s children.
It’s either all or nothing.
We cant just talk it, we have to walk it.
- Obedience brings blessing.
When we obey YHVH, there is blessing. Plain and simple. The cool thing is that blessing isn’t just for us either! The Bible says that Elohim blesses those who obey for thousands of generations.
When we study this topic, – take your kids through the study of people in the Bible who learned the blessing of obedience like Noah, Abraham, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and so many more.
Help them understand the “HOW” behind obedience.
As parents, we should always find little things to teach our kids. We have to be very careful not to assume they know things. Childhood is for growing and learning. We actually do have to teach our kids every little thing.
This includes teaching them PRACTICALLY what obedience looks like. How do we obey?
The Bible teaches we should obey without delay, completely, without question, and joyfully.
We should start by showing our kids these truths in the Bible then back it up with reinforcement. Make use of music and audiobooks to do this.
Kids need lots of reminders when they are learning something new, so be sure you help them with this. That reminds me of one more important thing you should know …
Meema Botha, [2026/02/07 09:07]
Teaching the importance of obedience doesn’t trump grace.
Little children do not even have the power to obey. They will always fail. It’s through salvation in Messiah that we get the power to obey (1 Peter 1:13-14).
No, we will never get it right 100% of the time. Yes, the standard that we set in the outline above is a high one. It’s worth the striving, but we are going to fail.
Instead of getting frustrated with their failures (and ours), we should teach our children to ask YHVH for help. They can learn to pray prayers such as, “Abba help me to obey when I get mad” or “Abba help me to listen to Your voice when I’m heading down the wrong path.”
As adults we ask YHVH to help us, so why not teach our kids to do the same? We should also pray for our children (in front of them) that YHVH would give them a desire to obey Him and the strength to choose the right thing. Oh, and pray that for yourself in front of the children, too.
It truly isnt the humble submission they see in us that will help them to see the importance of obedience in themselves. Otherwise, the temptation to give up the “try hard” game will be high. They will find themselves in a heap of disappointing behaviors with no hope that they can ever do any better. They need to know that even as adults we struggle with obedience to YHVH and that the only solution is to ask Him to help us … DAILY!
I can’t stress enough the importance of teaching children what YHVH’s Word says about obedience. They need to understand how He feels about this important topic, and they need to read it straight from His Word, not just from our lips because we won’t always be there to remind them.
They need to understand that obedience is a strong tool used in warfare. Obedience is an act of love that delivers protection and victory.
